It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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