I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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