It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
