id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
