Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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