It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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