Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize