Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
