He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
