i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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