the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
