Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
