Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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