You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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