a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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