don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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