I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Terrible idea I love it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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