Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
