It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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