Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
