just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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