just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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