So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
