i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
