I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize