I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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