You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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