the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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