try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
