he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
