I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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