I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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