he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
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Watching her eat just hurts me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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