you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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