Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
