And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you will always have a special place in my vag
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize