dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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