Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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