Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
