you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
