I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
