Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
