I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
