I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
