Dual....:-)
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
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a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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