meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Where is the hickey?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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