A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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