hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
