so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
