ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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