is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
