Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
