can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
