thus making me awesome and them whores
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize