What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
