I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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