You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
