Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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