he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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