My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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